Weak

While I'm typing this I am 30,000 feet above the beautiful ground of Malawi Africa.
Yes it's early April and not May 14th…
I am currently on my way to the States for medical care. The past couple of weeks I have had complicated bacteria infections causing a bad kidney and bladder infection. The past week and a half I have been in Partners in Hope Hospital located in the capital city Lilongwe. There I received excellent medical care from American doctors. I received iv's, countless injections, scans,blood and urine tests to determine the issue, pain medication and antibiotics. However my doctor recommended me to return to the states for more treatment and rest.
I do not want to worry anyone because I am in great hands and I have been the entire time. I have such a peace about going home and I am positive that the states has the medical care that I need.

The past couple of weeks have been crazy but I've realized so much.

To be completely honest I have a problem letting people help me, i have a problem admitting that something is wrong and I need help.However going on this trip all of that was completely broken. Especially while being in Africa. My teammates helped me more than words can describe.
From sleepless nights at the hospital taking turns watching me, going to the store to get things that I need, taking long public transportation, even bathing me and so much more.The past month my entire team stepped up and we all made our words match with our actions. For so long we all said we were a family. But in Africa we really became one. My teammates have spent hours praying over me, loving and taking care of me. Words cant come close to how thankful i am for my amazing team and how grateful i am for them taking care of me especially when i needed help the most.

All of this wasn't easy for me. To admit that I wasn't okay and needed help. To admit that I am to weak and I need help was so incredibly hard. But why? Why is it such a bad thing to admit that I need someone to help me? That was a huge lesson that God taught me while being in Africa.

God made me realize that I am weak and broken. It wasn't a easy thing to hear but God showed me even more than that. He showed me how beautiful that is and how much He delights in my inabilities.I realized that for so long I have tried to be perfect and act like I didn't need anyone. How ugly of a thing is that?

I am weak. I am broken.
But through that weakness and brokeness, that's when God comes and shows His power. That's when God fills me up with His unfailing love and His all-powerful strength. He comes and demonstrates His ability to provide in ways that i could never muster up or imagine.

But He said to me "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9

When I admit that I need help that's when God puts incredible people in my life to help me.
God never wants us to do life alone. No matter how hard a situation may be or how much we let our pride get in the way there is always a person who wants to help and God is right beside us every step of the way.

John 15:5 "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit, apart from me you can do nothing"

 If I live life relying on my own strength I will never get anywhere.If I try to do life alone I will never make it. I will always fail. I am confident that I will not accomplish anything without the Lord's provision.And that's a beautiful thing because I've learned that trusting in Gods plan for my life is truly the best way to live. This entire trip I have been completely out of my comfort zone and I've experienced so many times where the only option is to rely on Gods unfailing love and truly trust in His extraordinary power. When I open up God fills me up with the Spirit. The spirit of Wisdom (Ephesians 1:17), the spirit of power (Acts 1:8), (2 Timothy 1:7) and fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). When I relied fully on God's help and my brothers and sisters in Christ I have never been happier, I have never grown so much, I have never seen God move in so many ways

John 14:12-14 "Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name,so that the Father may be glorified in the son. You may ask me for anything in my name and i will do it."

I came on this trip not expecting to become so close to these people but throughout this trip I have realized how much they have blessed and changed my life.
I now have incredible brothers and sisters and a huge family all around the states and Canada.

I only wish you could know how amazing my teammates and my entire squad is. Each and everyone of them are so beautiful inside and out. They all have such a strong passion and love for God and without a doubt in my mind they are going to change the world. I know that I will see them all again and I'll be praying for them every day.

team fearless

Immersion 2- Thank you. Im so thankful to be on immersion 2. Y'all have blessed my life so much. Thank you for taking care of me, praying for me, loving and caring for me and most of all making this trip unforgettable.I love y'all and I know that April will be an incredible month! Hopefully I can see y'all in May! I'm so proud of each and everyone of you. Everyone has grown so much on this trip and I can't wait to see where everyone goes in life! Praying for y'all!

Supporters-THANK YOU. Thank you for all of the support you have given me. Your prayers, encouraging letters and comments have helped me so much! I am so blessed to have such a great group of supporters. This trip has changed my life and I can not express to you how grateful I am. You all made this trip possible. I have much more exciting news about where God is calling me to next and I can't wait to share it all with you! I know I will talk to you soon! God bless!